Here goes nothing!!!!

 I set to start New Years Day 2012.  Yes, I made it my resolution.  Only I was not going to quit 10, 20 or 30 days into it.  I told myself go the full 90 days because that was the program.  So I started without telling anyone that I was doing it.  Why did I keep it a secret at first?  Because... what if it failed and I lost nothing.  The plan... keep doing my cardio that I have always done, with no success and drink 2 meal replacement shakes a day one for breakfast and one for lunch along with a full dinner as normal and snacks in between.  Piece of cake.....the shakes are yummy so I wasn't chocking those down.  I will admit the first few weeks was a struggle because I am a snacker,  getting past that urge to grab something everytime I walked through the kitchen sucked. 
The first time I stepped on the scale was about a month into this and it actually showed a loss.  Wow, I was not expecting that because I didn't feel different at the time.   I almost feel like I was waiting for that moment where I looked in the mirror and saw the change. But, I started telling people slowly what I was doing.  That was when I realized why I had decided to keep it to myself... almost everyone said the same thing "you are already skinny, you have no weight to lose, you are going to look to thin if you lose"  Over and Over those words filled my head, was I skinny enough am I doing this for nothing.  Should I listen to everyone or keep going. Thankfully I had a few cheerleaders in my corner that encouraged me.  I kept going.
I was in my 2nd month.  The next scale weigh-in was telling me that I was continuing to lose lbs.  And my clothes were getting loose, when did I need to wear a belt out of necessity over just for looks.  I started wearing jeans that had been sitting for years.  I was winning!!!!
I could stop now if I wanted to and it would still be a success.   I was almost done and I was actually feeling really good.  I was no longer having the doubts and I knew I could finish and so that is what I did.
At the end of my 90 days my total loss was at 16lbs and at least 5 inches in my waist.  I was down to a size 4.  And wait, not once in all my after pictures I posted did I hear anyone say " You are to skinny"  I did hear a lot of " Wow"!

 From the beginning I had to look at Why I wanted to do this.  First and foremost I needed to do it for ME.  But, I wanted to do it because my kids deserved a whole mom ( I will go into that in my next post.)  And I wanted to be able to be there for my granddaughter.  My family means everything to me.

If you want to learn more about the shakes I drank you can learn about them here LoveMyShakes

From the beginning

I would have never considered that I needed to lose a few lbs.  I never though of myself as thick.  Sure I had a muffin top that I learned how to hide but after 3 kids that is totally normal, right!!!

What woman doesn't walk past a store window and do the roll check? 

And I did exercise on a regular basis.  I took a kickboxing class 5 mornings a week for almost 2 years and had started to get into Zumba and Spinning,  I ran a 1/2 marathon ( OK, I did more walking then actual running).  Lots and lots of Cardio.

And then I just stopped everything......

What made me stop.... A little of this and a little of that.  I never saw a change, why am I busting my butt to see the exact same number on the scale.  The pressure.....being married to a fitness crazy guy can sometimes get a little overwhelming.  But, I think my biggest downfall was that I was in a complete and total funk and I had to find a way to dig myself out of it.

 

My eyes opened when one of my best friends got married.  I had ordered my bridesmaid dress over the phone thinking that it may need to be taken in a little but it should fit.  Wow....was I surprised,  it zipped tight and then I saw the pictures.  Nothing was hidden and the worst part was the Spanx I brought with me never made it on because I felt like they were cutting off circulation.  No...Seriously I couldn't breathe.

After that was when I decided that I need to do one of two things.  Either accept and continue to make excuses or I can really get serious and make changes.  But, if I was to really do it I had to do it for ME!!!!  Not because my husband was leaving not so subtle hints but, for ME.  So I made a game plan and told no one.

If this plan didn't work then I didn't know what would!